* Translated by Janine Muller Sherr
Three widows from the "Swords of Iron" War recently became engaged.
Shaked Kogan is engaged to Shimi Lieberman and Meitar Eliyahu to Baruch Tzuri Noked. Both widows believe that their private engagements are also of national significance, and therefore they have permitted me to write about them today.
Shaked lost her husband, Master Sgt. (res.) Dovi Kogan, a fighter in the elite Shaldag Unit, during intense combat in Gaza at the beginning of the war. He was a talented aerospace engineer and was about to complete his master’s degree in Mechanical Engineering at the Technion. He was drafted on Simchat Torah to fight in Be’eri. They had three children. Shimi lost his first wife, Techiyah, three years ago to cancer. She grew up in the Netzarim settlement of Gush Katif and was a mother and adored kindergarten teacher.
This was their engagement announcement: “Shake yourself off, arise from the dust, Put on your clothes of glory, My people. Through the son of Yishai of Beit Lechem, Draw near to my soul and redeem it. With God’s help, we announce our forthcoming marriage. Shimi & Shaked.”
Shaked Kogan wrote to her friends: “From the day the special union between Dovi and me was broken apart, I have carried him inside me and have seen him in my children’s eyes. He was the force that kept me going, urging me to keep on living. With divine providence, I met Shimi from Netzarim. His beloved wife, Techiyah z”l, returned her soul to her maker on Simchat Torah three years ago after a courageous battle with cancer. They have four sweet children. We are uniting broken hearts and choosing life.”
The couple will be marrying soon in Ofakim. It was important for them to get married in one of the Gaza envelope communities in order to bring them strength and hope. They will live in a house in Bnei Netzarim in the house that Techiyah planned and Shimi built after her death.
And during the exact same week, Meitar Eliyahu, widow of Sgt. First Class (res.) Yedidya Eliyahu who fell in battle in Gaza, announced her engagement to Baruch Tzuri Noked from Hevron.
Their announcement was similar: “Shake yourself off, arise from the dust, for the light has begun to shine. We are so grateful to you, Hashem, may His name be blessed. We are overjoyed and excited to announce our engagement. “
Baruch is a single, 30-year-old man, and 26-year-old Meitar has three children from Yedidya. Kefir, Meitar’s father explained: “We are proud and delighted with Meitar’s decision to fall in love again and begin a new chapter in her life after the tremendous suffering she went through and despite all the love she had, and still has, for Yedidya. The new couple are even continuing to build the house that Yedidya had planned, and we recently started a crowd funding campaign to help them pursue their dreams. We were also very pleased that they asked for a blessing from Yedidya’s parents, the incredible Rav Yoram and Ziva Eliyahu.”
Rabbanit Ziva Eliyahu, Yedidya’s mother, explained their situation on the way to the engagement party: “It’s not easy for us at all, but we are trying to follow our head instead of our heart. From the moment that Yedidya was killed, I said to Meitar: “You’re still young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You mustn’t allow this tragedy to hold you back'.
Every time I lit Shabbat candles, and at every opportunity, I would pray that she would be able to rebuild her life. We asked Yedidya to send her strength and guidance from above. We want our grandchildren to have a 'father' who will continue to raise them. It doesn’t mean that they will forget their biological father. They will grow up and learn what a holy and righteous person their father was. But now they need a stable home. It’s a complicated situation for Meitar, for her fiancé, and for us to process this because it means that we have to again part from Yedidya. But we have come to the realization that this is the best way forward and that Yedidya would have approved. Our entire family is now on their way to Meitar’s engagement celebration".
These two widows are the first to embark on this new path and they are receiving tremendous support and encouragement from others. Both families would like to thank all those who came to celebrate with them this week. Just as thousands came be with them at the shiva, they are coming now to support them during this joyous occasion. And both of these women emphasize that they are not trying to tell other women, in similar circumstances, to follow their lead. “Everyone has a different journey. The most important thing is people around you support you along the way.”
And while I was writing these words, I heard more good news: Galit Wiesel, the widow of reserve soldier, Sergeant Major Elkana Wiesel, has also become engaged.
Mazal tov to all th families. And may the entire Jewish people merit, as those couples wrote so beautifully, to “shake themselves off and arise from the dust.”
